How to get to know a person quickly?

/March 2023

I said in "I am so disappointed in my University": "the freedom of the university makes it a mirror. You are what you live to be."

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to my surprise, this article has also become a mirror. I have seen different personalities, things I care about and things I have lost in different kinds of comments.

on a case-by-case basis, I will teach you how to get to know a person quickly through the comment "I am so disappointed with my college". It takes less than a minute to read a comment, which should fit the quick definition.

first of all, let's clarify a question: how do you know a person? Do you know everything he's been through?

No, our parents have seen us big since childhood, and they may not really understand our hearts. Sometimes we want to know what a person has been through, not really interested in his story, but to know what he really thinks from his story.

A person's story is so long that we can only listen to it one by one. After listening to it, we may not be able to know what we want to know.

so if you want to get to know a person quickly, you must bypass the detour of listening to the story and understand his thoughts directly. Don't feel incredible, after I finish, you will find that it is actually very simple.

one. Advice

there is a comment in the article that reads: "…". The most terrible thing is that when you look at the neon lights all over the street after work, you will be confused and ask yourself where to go and what to do at night. I don't know who to call when I pick up the phone. I don't know who to call Wechat. I suddenly feel that I am so small that I am about to cry when I am alone in a foreign land. I really want to cherish my time in college and do what I want to do. "

in fact, does he really miss college because he "does what he wants to do"? No, it's loneliness. When he was in college, he had company and play. these are the places where he misses college.


that is to say, within a minute of reading this comment, you will know that he has lost his company and that he needs someone to accompany him.

this is nonsense. Then further down, why does he feel lonely? Because he has no friends at this time.

does this mean that he can't play with his co-workers? Or it can be guessed that he doesn't choose his friends casually? He values the quality of his friendship?

so, he must not be the kind of brainless self-familiarity, he is still a little shy and sensitive, not necessarily so active.

one person advises another, often because he has lost. And the more tears he exhorts, the more important this loss is to him.

the exhorter exposes all his emotions. Listen carefully to other people's advice, and you can easily find out what the other person has lost and the emotions he cares about now.

II. Environment

as long as it is an article, there must be some opposition. There was a comment that day was like this: no matter how you went to college, it was your own choice, and the consequences were borne by yourself. Now that you are a junior, is there any point in saying that you were disappointed in college? I think what the university teaches us is responsibility, responsible for ourselves in the past and responsible for ourselves in the future.

my reply at that time was: "you didn't teach these things in college. You learned them yourself." The university you see is who you see yourself. "

after this article went out, there were many comments. Some talk about confusion, some talk about fun, some talk about stress, as I said at the beginning, what you see means what you are.

once there was a saying on the Internet: the more a person shows off something, the more he shows what he lacks. This may not be true, but the reverse is interesting: "the more you think he's showing off, the more you say you lack something."

the same thing, a place, everyone will have different ideas, because we can only see the world we want to see.

if you really want to know what a person really thinks right now, you just need to look at his view of his surroundings. Everything he sees is himself.

because if a person really does not belong to this environment, then he has only two choices: one is to escape from this environment, and the other is to die in this environment.

three. Discontented

after the article was sent out, I received a message from the reader. She said that disorder is getting worse and worse, about feelings that he likes me, I don't like him or fall in love with impossible people and so on blabla; about the future, but I am so confused, I don't know what to do.

there is such a passage in her: "I think people are a process of rising. I'm sorry that you can't provide the spiritual nourishment I want here. Maybe you are facing the youth of the masses, but today's college students are nourished for this. The times are really shallow and the world is different."

first of all, we might as well use the second point, "people can only see what they want to see" to analyze the reader's current state.

she is now in a period of confusion, so in that article she can only see confusion and disappointment, but at the same time she is very dissatisfied, and she hopes to see something that will take her out of this confusion.

people's dissatisfaction is a very interesting emotion, it has two meanings: I don't have such a thing now, I hope I have it in the future.

in other words, you can tell from a person's dissatisfaction what he expects of himself, what he thinks about the future, that is, who he wants to be. Of course, that doesn't mean he can be such a person.

listen to these three words and savor them carefully, and you will find that it is not difficult to get to know a person at all.

these three words let you know three things about each other, what you lose, and what you have.Of, looking forward to. Yes, these three things represent a person's past, present and future, respectively.

only in this way can you get to know a person completely.

so now you remember everything I said? If not, watch it again. If you remember, move on to the next question: who do you want to know?

like someone? The parents at home? Your own best friend?

is there any more?

I guess a lot of people will ignore one person, and that is themselves. Today, everyone's starting point and goal is to understand others, but also, don't forget the most important yourself.

good night.

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