I forgave my father who cheated twice.
Chinese New year, people always hear old things when they sit together and chat, and some of them no longer avoid the things I talk about because I grow up.
for example, family infidelity.
my cousin brought back her husband for the Spring Festival this year. This is also the first man in my sister's family to stay for the Spring Festival in many years.
my cousin's mother, my aunt, divorced her father after my cousin was admitted to college. The reason was that the man had an affair, but it was not very important. The important thing was that they divorced early and did not make public until the end of the college entrance examination.
in fact, I have always known that they are divorced. Adults think that children can't understand or remember when they talk, but in fact, children can also be very sensitive and remember a lot of things clearly.
after all, at 03:00 when I first saw my father having an affair, I was only eight years old.
during my summer vacation, my father, who has been working outside for a long time, went back to his hometown to pick me up in Guangzhou. He would rather stay at home for a few days. Because there was no one living in the house for a long time and needed cleaning, my father hired an aunt an hourly worker to help us clean up.
this is his story, and I have believed it. Until I turned my head as I was watching TV on the sofa and saw her holding her father's arm and staring into his eyes. It was so close. I saw her later, but only once.
one day my mother asked my father to take me at home, so he took me to another house he rented-- there was that hourly aunt in the house. After entering the door, I said to my father, the family is poor, do your own cleaning, do not let hourly workers clean every time.
after my father went out to work, the hourly aunt always wanted to talk to me. I made myself a cuboid house with a foam mat in the living room, closed the door to sleep, and ignored her.
then my father came back and let me into the room. They had a fight. Then I watched my father throw all the clothes and shoes of the hourly aunt out of the window and drive me back to my mother's house.
I thought it would be a secret for my father and me, just like he kept it from his mother every time he bought a car.
during the Spring Festival this year, I heard my mother say the content of their quarrel at that time. The cleaner aunt wanted my parents to divorce, and then she was driven away by her father. The woman didn't give up and asked, "what's so good about her?" you can't let her go? "
my dad said, "you can't even compare her with a finger." Ten years later, my mother mentioned this and smiled at me and my aunt.
when I was twelve years old, I was one step ahead of my mother to know that my father was having another affair. At that time, my mother was working in Guangzhou, and my father opened a chess and card room in Foshan, where he could also stay. This mistress can be called a receptionist.
when I recall that time, I still remember what the picture was and what the sound was. The woman said to my father, "come and sleep at my place today."
my father and I were watching TV in one of the chess and card rooms after taking a shower. When I heard this, my father looked at me, I stared at him, and then stared at the woman.
my mother told my aunt that if I hadn't been too strong, she and my father would have divorced.
Auntie sighed and said, if your cousin were half as fierce as you, her father and I would not be like this. I said, it's because you kept it a secret from my sister and didn't tell her until she got into college.
tell me more about my cousin's father.
he was one of the first people in our small place to go south to work and start his own business. I have heard many people say that he is very powerful, even in a worshipful tone, but now his own brothers and sisters don't respect him as much as they used to.
Marriage does not hold a banquet, because it is not on the table, and when he has a daughter and son, he can only smile bitterly in the face of congratulations. he is in his forties and fifties this year, and he does not know whether he can feed his children or see if he can see them grow up.
Auntie said that he often called recently to tell her about those things and about his life now. He said that he was much older than before, and he was sighing how retribution came so quickly.
I don't know what I said, but there was a sudden silence for a while, and then I said, "actually, you didn't mention it. I almost forgot my dad had an affair." I remember that my father would make a special drive to see his 80-year-old mother every week. He was afraid of falling down when he was walking, and he was sick and went to the hospital all night. I said, my father is really filial.
Auntie said, this shows that he attaches great importance to his family, ah, if he is not filial to his mother, it will be too cold and thin. She paused and said, although it is good for you to have a strong temper, most of the time your father loses face. You see, during the Spring Festival, relatives come to play, and there are many people. If you don't let him smoke, he will quickly put out the cigarette and drink some wine. Your father is also a man, and he will lose face in this way.
in fact, I don't think so. I am spoiled and proud, but only if he spoils me and loses face.
looking back on all these years, he has always been a very good father and very kind to my mother. Although he always despises my mother's low IQ and is always idle, at least the family has been so busy that he will not leave my mother alone.
so, what's unforgivable for cheating? Those who are cheated are just unable to get through the hurdle in their hearts, feel betrayed and feel that they may be laughed at by outsiders.
later, when I was walking down the street with my best friend, she said, "I still can't accept my boyfriend having an affair. Although I haven't had a boyfriend so far, I know that I can't control myself even if I like someone." So I hope that if he has an affair in the future, when he doesn't make a decision on how to choose, I wait for him, choose me, then we go on, I forgive you, if not me, then break clean, don't let me look down on him. "
I thought about it. It used to be disorganized.An article about cheating was shared by me on moments, with the words that I can't tolerate infidelity, even if it's someone around me.
now think about what can't be forgiven. The love between male and female friends is you love me, you do not like me, then let go, as long as you are free and easy, disgusting is to step on two boats for a long time.
when it comes to being bound by marriage, this is not a matter between two people, so wait until we think about the future before deciding what is most important.
Our tulle prom dresses are designed to wow even the random onlooker. This selection will save so much of your precious time.
the choice lies in what the cheating person thinks. If you value your family, there is nothing to believe in repentance. If you want the love I can't give you, there is nothing to bear in mind if you let go.
my best friend said: "I want to make a lot of money, strong enough, independent enough, so that I will not be afraid of being hurt."
I nodded and said yes. But when I think about it, I find it funny that two people who don't even have a boyfriend or have never had a boyfriend are here to comment on love and marriage.
but maybe it's because you're standing outside the fence that you're so sober about both.