It's really embarrassing to talk to you.

/March 2023


A few days ago, I watched a variety show called "War of Singles" on Leeco. It was very interesting.

the program group put 50 boys and 50 girls into the venue in one breath. After the host he Jiong briefly talked about the rules, everyone had 30 minutes to communicate freely with others, and when the time was over, they voted to eliminate 20 men and 20 women.

there is no guidance in these 30 minutes. People need to take the initiative to chat with others and make an impression on others.

in fact, it's not just the first session, one-minute introduction, three-minute date, phone chase, etc. Every part of the Singles War is forcing participants to express themselves quickly in the way of chat.

I like this program for three reasons. I can't guess the development of its plot, the concept of love behind each choice of the participants is worth exploring, and the last one is that there is a lot of spontaneous chat in this program.

there is a link in the program that impressed me. When a female guest was talking, she kept trying to interrupt others and cover up her emotions with cold jokes and bad jokes.

that's what makes this show special: we can see different ways of chatting clearly and truly. Some people chat naturally and interestingly, while others express themselves in an awkward way.


for young people in their twenties, online communication is actually far greater than real communication. Many friends around me have said that they do not know how to take the initiative to chat with others, or they often encounter all kinds of awkward chats.

freshman year friend Chin class fellowship, I met a very beautiful girl. A Cheng itself is beautiful and excellent, and at the fraternity, everyone intentionally or unintentionally lets two people form a pair to carry out activities.

after an awkward icebreaker game, everyone moved freely. A Cheng and the girl smiled at each other, sat at the table and began to chat.

A Cheng first asked where he was from and got close. After the girl finished, she asked about the results again. A Cheng is not very good at this, said a sentence in general, ready to change the subject, did not expect the girl suddenly interjected: "my grades are very good, I can teach you."

". But we have different majors. "

"there are common courses such as high math, big things and so on, but learning actually pays attention to logical blabla." I got the title of excellent cadre in the department evaluation, but you didn't join the department? In fact, joining the student department can learn a lot, even if it is to move tables to climb trees, there are also many ways. What I feel most about joining the student organization is that I met a better myself. "

"you don't seem interested? It doesn't matter. Let's change the subject. Do you have a dream? What's your dream? Ah, nothing you like? Then you should try more. When you come back in all directions blabla "

that night, A Cheng politely blocked the other party's Wechat. A Cheng said, "even if you are beautiful, you can't talk like this."

chat is a kind of dialogue, it is not a unilateral speech, it needs not only a sound, but also a response.

in the one-minute display of the second part of the War for Singles, a participant in the TV shopping industry who declared "Dreams of thousands of Girls" made this mistake. He kept showing himself in the way of sales. but never thought about how others would accept it and how to respond to it.

some people are embarrassed to chat because they cut off the opportunity to respond and hold all the discourse power in their own hands.


the disorganized warm man has no intention to urge his work. He never tells you directly, "Wang Zepeng, it's time to hand in the manuscript."

when he requested the manuscript for the first time, he asked me what I was doing and whether I had eaten. Then I took a look at my cell phone time. At 9: 00 p. M., I said foolishly that I didn't do anything. I ate it. What happened to you?

in the middle of chatting with him, thorns came to tell me that Alai had a copywriter to write. Let's dock.

it suddenly dawned on me that Alai wanted to talk to me about his work, but he didn't say it. He cared about my emotional state while caring about whether I was cold or not. Then I pretended to cooperate with him without knowing anything, which was very embarrassing.

later, when everyone chatted, everyone was a little embarrassed about Alai. In fact, everyone could see at a glance that he wanted to rush to work, but he had to cooperate with him to chat aimlessly, embarrassing all the way.

A lot of people like to ask, are you there and what are you doing? This confusing way to start a chat is easy to make people feel embarrassed. Because he did not throw up a practical topic, everyone had to go on because of affection.

when chatting, you should learn how to drop the topic. If there is something serious, you should go straight in, reduce the element of polite words and talk about nutritious things directly.


A Zhou and I have such a good relationship that on her birthday, Xia Zhiyuan and I sent her a special tweet in the Internet cafe at one o'clock in the morning to wish her a happy birthday.

what many people don't know is that the first time we met, the first impression was very bad and we hated each other very much. Later, because they were all mental contacts, they had to get in touch with each other at work and chatted down, inexplicably talking to the present.

even in fact, she and I are two completely different personalities, and our feelings are really chatted out.

A good chat can actually reap far more than we can imagine.

in the three-minute date in the second episode of the War of Singles, the 15th is in just a few short sessions.It reached the point of directly asking the new acquaintance "do you miss me", but not abruptly.

but how to quickly find a topic, get closer, and establish an intimate relationship with each other is actually skillful-finding intersection.

for example, when chatting with a boy on the 65th of the program, he first said that he was from Beijing, and the boy replied that my father was from Beijing and my mother was from Tianjin.

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at this time, the female guest No. 65 said, "that's a coincidence. My uncle is from Tianjin, and many of my friends are from Tianjin."

in psychology, when people face a stranger, if they have their own similarities, the degree of intimacy and identity will increase. This is the purpose of finding intersection.

in addition to finding intersection, there is another technique for finding topics, that is, asking questions. Ask for advice, you can make the other person feel unique, and even unconsciously say a few more words, so the topic will naturally open up.

finally, I hope you will never meet those people who chat to death every minute in your life. good night.

(the War for Singles is actually a social experimental variety show, and there is a rhyme worth discussing behind the choices of guests. I will see you at 20:00 every Friday night.)