My family is opposed to my micro-adjustment. Should I give up?

/March 2023

Reader May is a senior this year. She, who is about to graduate, recently had a big argument with her family: she wanted to undergo microsurgery before the winter vacation to make herself more beautiful, but she was greatly blocked by her family.

"I'm not ugly, I'm average, and I really want to look better. Not only my family, but also my friends around me are very opposed to my choice. Should I give up? "

after receiving this letter, we expressed different views on this matter.

@ Wang Zepeng

"Beauty is real."

plastic surgery is still an untouchable bomb in this era.

We gradually accept homosexuality and learn to respect other people's preferences, but when it comes to plastic surgery, most of us get nervous and burst into anger.

I often want to ask, what are these people angry about?

inner beauty is more important, so it's shameful to work on appearance. Hard work is valuable, so a shortcut like plastic surgery is shameful? Parents with physical hair and skin, so plastic surgery is shameful?

I shook my head.

the above three points can be easily overturned: just because I work hard on my appearance doesn't mean I don't pay attention to the inside. Why don't you praise me with a two-pronged approach? Plastic surgery is really not an effort, it is a kind of witness and enjoyment after my efforts; according to my parents, all programmers who stay up late should be pulled out and shot.

plastic surgery is very common, with millions of people in the United States, Brazil and Japan every year, more than South Korea. If plastic surgery can make a person more beautiful, why not? Just like wearing nice clothes and makeup, it's just a way to pursue beauty. Why not?

some people will say that plastic surgery is ugly, the same kind of snake face and pointed chin. Yes, I don't like this either, but what I don't like is his conformist aesthetic.

in this case, what is annoying is not plastic surgery, but the bad and unindependent aesthetic.

going back to May's question, I don't want to say that I support her to micro-refine, I just support beauty.

ask yourself: have you reached the standard of financial ability? Do you have plastic surgery for yourself or to please others? Are you sure you have your own unique aesthetic rather than the stereotyped online celebrity aesthetic?

combining all the above conditions, I can make a corresponding answer. And if you can figure out these problems yourself, sit down and talk to your family, and tell them what micro-finishing can bring to you and where the side effects are, I'm sure you can get the understanding of your family.

finally, I would like to say that there are many forms of beauty, and we should not advocate the inner and constantly attack the external beauty. As long as it is beautiful, it is all true and worth pursuing.

@ Zhiyuan

"it's important not to regard this beauty as your strength."

I don't know what you mean by "medium level" and what you want to be beautiful for. So I don't want to advise you whether you should fix it or give up. I want to let you know more about microsurgery and ask yourself a few more questions.

my elective course this semester happens to be about plastic surgery. Microsurgery can probably be understood as non-surgical plastic surgery. Compared with traditional plastic surgery, it has many advantages, such as fast, high security, recoverable and so on.

microsurgery is mostly done by injecting drugs, but most of them may return to their original state in three to five months. If you want to keep it, you have to continue to inject. The regular better microsurgery is actually not cheap.

I believe that if you enjoy the benefits of beauty (as long as the microsurgery is successful and you are satisfied), it will be difficult for you to give up this beauty.

A person who has been hungry for a long time does not let him eat the delicious food in front of him, and gives him a bite and then stops him from eating. I think the latter is more painful.

Microsurgery is actually quite addictive, but this kind of addiction takes a long time. I'm worried that you will be hungry and go to a small clinic for micro-plastic surgery.

so, you have to think, can you afford to keep this beauty? I believe that if you can't afford it, it will be more painful to decide whether or not to give up than you do now.

I don't know why you choose micro instead of traditional plastic surgery. I wonder, if you have tasted the benefits of micro, will you end up with a knife in order to choose "once and for all"?

also, if you can't afford to give up plastic surgery, you should also consider whether the people and things you got by "becoming beautiful" will change.

in fact, I don't think plastic surgery is that important. the important thing is that you can't regard microsurgery as your effort and the beauty you bring through it as your strength, because this beauty is based on what may disappear.

what you get from this beauty requires your continued efforts to stay.

@ Zhang thorns

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there are many ways to be beautiful, but you choose the easiest one.

everyone has different views on micro-integration, and parents' persuasion is actually much more difficult than we imagined. To say the least, even if your family understands your choice, so what?

understand that what parents really care about is not that their children go to micro-finishing, but that their children seem to have done something that most people don't approve of.

so even if May's parents can understand the micro-integration in Zepeng's mouth, they will consider it one more step and what if they fail? How will the outside world evaluate their children after failure? After all, micro-integration is to give the lead to the doctor he does not know, rather than his own daughter.

is there only one way to be beautiful when we return to ourselves? No. Fitness, goodWork and rest, excellent clothing matching, all these can make a person more beautiful.

as a senior, I don't know if May wants to change her beauty through micro-adjustment because of the pressure at work or the disturbing world outside.

but what I do know is that plastic surgery is always a shortcut. And as long as it is a shortcut, there must be a price to sacrifice for it.

quarrelling with parents is the price, spending a lot of money is the price, and so is the pointing of the people around you. In order to take a shortcut, do you really feel that you have to pay so much that you have to sacrifice money, communication and even family?

everyone wants to be beautiful, and there's nothing wrong with being beautiful, but never choose the easiest way.

the faster a road seems to reach the finish line, the more it needs to throw away. And some things are much more precious than beauty.

and once people get used to taking shortcuts, they become more and more anxious.

the reason why we liked the movie "the Little thing of first Love" so much was not because the heroine was beautiful, but because the heroine picked up her "beauty" bit by bit through her own efforts. And this process makes us feel that we can also make efforts to get better.

finally, I want to ask May if she has forgotten why she wants to be beautiful.

good night.

on the afternoon of the 24th, we will hold a "ferryman" Christmas viewing party in Dongguan Expo Square. For details, please see the side push the day before yesterday.

"Ferry Man" Christmas Cinema activity Information

time: December 24th 13:00-16:00

venue: China Film volcanic Lake Cinema (3 /F, area G, Expo Square, Dongguan)