People I don't like confess their love to me again.
Today is the fifth issue of the question. at the beginning of the establishment of this column, everyone joked that there should not be only one issue. Unexpectedly, there are more and more questions received in the mailbox, some of which are quite interesting.
so we decided to pick a question from the mailbox every week and discuss it with you from multiple angles, and you are welcome to send it to [email protected] in the form of "come and ask + specific stories and questions".
the question in this issue comes from the reader's Snickers, about confession and rejection:
"there is a man who has not seen him for seven years and seldom contacted him. Today is the third time that he has asked me if I can give him a chance to be with me. Rejection is certain, but I don't know how to make the third refusal less harmful. "
"what do you think I should do to minimize a person's injury?"
"Don't care too much about other people's feelings, if you like, you will be willing to gamble and admit defeat."
you are really a gentle girl, but I guess not many people like you.
I have a neighbor named Peaches, who grew up together in a bathtub when I was a child.
she is a beauty. I have known "Yan is justice" in her since kindergarten. Every time she comes to my house, my mother will give her the last box of yogurt I have cherished for a long time, even if I beep my mouth to the sky.
the peach is even more terrible when she grows up. She is often criticized when walking on the road. Some people even block her at the door of the classroom just to see her, and countless suitors die under her skirt.
she is also distressed at first, and she is always careful when refusing the other person to express her love, for fear of hurting the other person in the wrong way. For this reason, she still couldn't sleep and sighed all day, as if it was her who had been rejected.
later, when there were more and more such things, I asked Peaches, "if a person confesses his love to you, you have to take care of his emotions." Those 100 people express their love to you, do you still have to take care of each other's emotions? If so, how can you go on with your life? "
Peach nodded knowingly. Slowly, her way of refusing people became more and more decisive, and many people turned their heads and left.
interestingly, her straightforward refusal not only did not hurt others, but also greatly reduced the number of times others harassed her.
Peach, who has seen countless suitors, will now say, "No one is responsible for anyone's emotions." A person's emotions should be taken care of by himself, no one should interfere, and he is not qualified to interfere. Even if you are someone he likes, you can't. "
but then again, there was a boy who obsessively chased peaches for two years, no matter how coldly peaches rejected him, he unswervingly chose to continue.
when Wechat was blocked, he went to Peach Weibo to leave a message, and then he would change his second account. Every day, he would sing to her with a tone-deaf voice, singing all about "it doesn't matter, you don't have to be ashamed of me. Anyway, I still have a life to waste."
Peaches softened for this many times and always asked me, "he seems to really like me. Should I think about him?"
I asked Peaches, "do you like him?"
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Peach shook his head and told me, "he's really pathetic. He's never seen anyone give so crazily." I feel sorry for him. "
"then why consider spending time with someone you don't even like, and why love him?" Is it your fault that he likes you? "
what if you like someone?
employees who work overtime and haven't slept for three days will never be praised by the boss if they don't do a good job. Similarly, the pursued person does not need to feel guilty because of the suitor's infatuation. If the work is not done well, it is not done well. If you don't like it, you don't like it. The essence of playing the hard card is the same as that of the infatuation card.
in my opinion, love is always willing to gamble and lose. From the moment you start to like someone, you should be ready to come back with flesh and blood.
I don't even realize this, and I'm still afraid of getting hurt, so you might as well express your love to your mother.
what should be distressed, what should be thought about, what should be adjusted is never the confessed you, but your suitor.
@ Wang Zepeng
"We are the ones worthy of sympathy."
I totally agree with Yuanxia's point of view. In terms of feelings, as the party who rejects others, we always think that others have been hurt because of ourselves, it is our own fault, and we have an obligation to take care of his emotions.
I can also often see many people feel sad because of the failure of confession. What I want to say is not only for Snickers, but also for those who fail to express their love.
I often hear that girls around me are dismissive of college boys, saying that boys chasing girls is like casting a wide net. If you can't catch this one, change to the next one.
my friend Azi holds such a view that every time she ruthlessly rejects a boy, she will soon see the boys change their next goal and use the same routine to chase the next girl.
is it so casual for boys to fall in love? Archie gave me a disdainful look, and I shrugged innocently. I also asked these boys, "won't you be sad when you are rejected?" Why did you come out so soon? "
their answer is probably: "what's so sad about adults?" Why are you so pretentious? "
have you found that many people have been rejected, have not been hurt at all, and even feel shameful that they have been hurt?
so understand that if a person has never left a wound in your heart, he doesn't really like it at all..
only those who like will be hurt, in today's so many impetuous relationships, this is not a shameful thing at all. Adults are afraid of pain, and they dare not let themselves get hurt at all.
but like another person for three years, be rejected twice, still continue to pursue, knowing that there is an abyss ahead, but also step on it with your head held high, this is the true love to the bone.
if you like a person who can't get it, you are bound to get hurt. We do not need to sympathize with this injury, what is really worthy of sympathy is the cowardly us who are afraid of pain, and we can not find the unfortunate us who are worth opening up.
for the person or thing you like, it is a reward in itself for the harm caused by holding on to a thing.
it needs no understanding, no sympathy, all it needs is a compliment. Good night.
as mentioned before, we decided to spend the last day of 2016 at the Strawberry Music Festival in Guangzhou.
so, click to read the original text to see the strategy, and then see you tomorrow.