one day he went out to dinner with friends, and his cell phone vibrated during the chat, so he unlocked it and clicked into the app.
the message she sent was at the top, with only two words: "are you there?"
the chat between them never begins with the word "Hello", because five years ago you would not text someone to ask "Hello". It is a product of the era of QQ. In the era of Wechat, no one will ask another person, "are you there?"
unless it's important.
so he replied, "what's wrong?"
"didn't I tell you before, I seem to be really sick." After saying this, she sent two pictures. They are self-rating Depression scale and self-rating anxiety scale.
Unfortunately, no matter how hard he tried to look at the pictures of the two tables over and over again, he couldn't find the words "as if" or "seems" as uncertain.
it says: "the subjects are in a very low mood, feeling sad, depressed, depressed and unable to extricate themselves."
conclusion: severe depression.
he gasped and said to her, "wait a minute. I'll call you later."
she said yes.
half a month ago, she told him about her anxiety on Wechat.
he didn't care at the time and took it as evidence of her ignorance. He scolded her and asked her how she could have such an idea, life is so beautiful, the future is still full of various desires waiting for us to realize, how can we give up at this time node.
he said, "you are just young and don't know how to cherish it."
she didn't reply right away, but it took almost half an hour before she said, "I was wrong. I really shouldn't give up."
later, after looking up some information about "depression", I learned that, as a friend, we should not talk to patients about the "bright future", nor should we give them any chicken soup and positive energy. When they express that they are anxious and uncomfortable, companionship and listening are enough. Blindly encouraging them will only make them more stressful and self-blaming.
because of depression, they feel from the bottom of their heart: "it's hard enough now, and there will be no change in the future."
it's like you shouldn't ask a person with a fever to do strenuous exercise and eat more food late at night with a high fever, because they just can't do it and can't eat.
the first sentence is: "are you all right?"
on the other end of the phone, she seemed relaxed, as usual: "nothing, but a little easier when I'm sure. It turned out that I was listless because I was sick, not because I was a listless person."
he was joking when he wanted to scold her, but he couldn't. Instead, he asked the second question: "where are you now?" Are you alone? "
she said, "Don't worry about being with your boyfriend. I wouldn't do that. "
"who knows what you think." He breathed a sigh of relief and his tone relaxed.
"actually, it's boring to be alive." she also heard some news voices from her side, and she was supposed to be sitting on the bed. "but death is too painful, so it's better not to die."
he didn't dare to respond, so he immediately changed the subject and said, "isn't there a lot of delicious food in Guangzhou?" Have you ever had that sushi restaurant I asked you to eat before? it's really delicious. "
"I haven't had much appetite lately." She replied briskly, like the one he had just met, she always didn't know how to hide her thoughts when talking to people.
after chatting for nearly ten minutes, she seems to be the same cheerful and frank girl. And he seems to be her brother, always making his own suggestions, whether it really suits her or not.
suddenly, he seems to remember something. He asked her, "didn't you really want that BOSE headset before? Don't buy it at this time. "
"what if you spend so much money on it and find that it is no different from ordinary earplugs after listening to it for a long time?"
she was amused: "you have a point, so I won't buy it."
she is a careless girl who is laughed at as "mindless" every time she goes out. Once when she went to Chengdu, she couldn't help showing off how familiar she was with Chengdu when she was on the bus. As a result, she called for help soon after she got off the bus, saying that she had lost her way in the mall. And she is also a math idiot, obviously is a simple three-digit addition, subtraction, multiplication and division, she can never calculate with the computer.
but no one thought that, being so stupid, she could count all the pressure and sadness she encountered clearly and engrave them in her heart.
he asked her, "is it because of writing that you get sick?"
she said: "in fact, I am happy when I write, but after I finish it, I will become very anxious. I am not afraid that readers will not like my article. I am just afraid that low reading will affect our whole team."
he was helpless and sad: "are you stupid? I told you not to care about the outside world."
"do you remember? When I was having dinner last night, I inadvertently said, 'the amount of reading is very low these days'. Perhaps from his point of view, the amount of reading is the capital he went to talk to the merchants, and he did not mean any harm, but just put forward this phenomenon. But when I heard this sentence, I felt very guilty because I wrote all those articles..
slowly, every time I write a manuscript, I don't know how to start, and after I finish it, I feel that it's not what I want. So it's very painful. "
after she said this calmly, he couldn't help it any longer, and his tears kept streaming down.
he left the dormitory and went into the empty corridor, where it was raining heavily.
he said, "if it's painful, why write it?"
"because we are a team, I have the responsibility to write on it."
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it's been raining outside the corridor all day. This kind of rain is rare in this city. It doesn't come as hard as a storm, knocking on the window while you're asleep. It just keeps falling, neither small nor big. You can't tell from the rain whether it will stop raining in half an hour. It is dark night, but you can clearly feel the thick degree of the dark clouds.
he was speechless and dared not wipe away his tears, for he was afraid that the person on the other end of the phone would know that she was crying.
after a long pause, she asked, "what's the matter with you?"
she seems to have heard his choking voice.
after a while, she asked, "what's the matter with you?"
"me. I feel sorry for you. "
"Don't be silly."
"maybe you would be much happier if I hadn't been advocating the role of words and imposing my ideas on you all the time."
"No, if I thought you were wrong, I wouldn't follow your advice."
"but you have become unhappy, writing should not be a painful thing, but you all feel very painful. I think I made a mistake, and it is irreparable."
for a moment, she didn't know who was suffering from depression. He cried more than she did.
when he put down his hand holding the phone, took ten deep breaths, and then held the phone to his ear, he said, "I adjusted it. I was a little excited just now." In fact, I just want to tell you, if you feel sad, do not write, wait until you are happy, if you have been unhappy, then do not write for the rest of your life. I asked too much before. I shouldn't have done that. "
she said, "well, I should take a break, too."
they talked for nearly two hours that night, and he asked her how long it would take to cure the disease.
she said, "there is no cure with medicine, but it can maintain my condition." If you want to be cured, you have to go through psychotherapy. Have you ever seen the movie "my husband is depressed"?
he said no.
she said, "you can go and see it if you are free. One day I accidentally saw this film and found that I was exactly like the hero in the film." Before I made up my mind to do a formal test. "
he asked, "are you feeling better now?"
she said, "if you take the medicine, you will feel better. You just recall the past." In fact, I will not get sick completely because of writing, I began to learn how to hide my sadness from an early age, and then put on a very happy look in front of others. But later found that those 'sad' will not disappear because of my hiding, they will pile up in a corner and jump out at certain times. And I really forgot what is meant by 'real happiness'. "
"if I'm all right, maybe I'll know what real laughter is like." She added.
he said, "if you need to talk to someone, remember to call me."
she asked, "is it still raining over there?"
"it's still down." He took a deep breath and then said, "it's been hard these days."
after that, she seems to be getting better. But the illness is always repeated, a few days ago, she said to him: "I almost died."
he broke out in a cold sweat on this side of the screen and hurriedly knocked: "what's the matter?" Why? "
she said: "I have told you that there is no reason for depression. I just suddenly feel unlovable, but it's all right. I've got it under control now."
before, he was always busy, hoping that he could keep rushing forward, always holding a belief in his heart: "just a little higher, a little higher."
but now that mindset has changed a little, and he is beginning to realize for the first time that "it's good to be alive."
as for her, she said that she finally felt what was meant by "real happiness". It turned out that "laughter" could really make a person laugh forward and backward, because she was faking it before. Although hypocrisy and truth are both "", the former will laugh more and more lonelier, while the latter will laugh more and more want to laugh.
he asked her, "are you sure you want me to write it?"
she said, "I'm sure. You know, many people think that depression is a psychological illness, as long as you adjust your mindset, you can heal yourself. Including me, before the diagnosis, I always felt that I was sad, and it was my own problem that I couldn't get up to do things.
so at that time I began to blame myself, scold myself, and even want to kill this useless self. But the doctor told me that depression is a physiological disease, just like a cold and fever, you have to know what disease you have before you can prescribe the right medicine.
you have to accept the fact that you have depression before you can cure it. However, many people who are prone to depression often choose to continue to fight for depression because they do not understand it, which is why many people have severe depression as soon as they are tested.
I want you to write it down and let everyone know what depression is all about. At the same time, use this story to tell those who are sad alone: cry, don't you still have me with you? " remembering a passage from Wu Nianzhen, he said: "many tastes of life do not know how to savor until a certain age, such as the feeling and happiness of helping each other. But once you understand, everything is far away. "
Yes, once you understand, it's all far away. Good night.