There are times when I can't be Chen Yunru.
the boy usually arrives at the classroom at 7: 00 in the morning, and he arrives early or is late very rarely. In view of this, I summarized the word "self-discipline" under the table at that time.
I touched the two words with my fingers and couldn't help laughing. At that time, after this discovery, I often went to the classroom at 7 o'clock and would deliberately say to him, "I like to live a regular life."
this discovery is really accurate. He said, "he likes it, too." the topic opened up, and we gradually became friends.
he takes me to hand in my cell phone every Monday, and asks me to do an extra half an hour of homework after evening self-study and half an hour of running after I finish my homework.
this process, only God knows how broken I am.
the last few pages of my diary are full of monologues in my heart. I want to sleep, play with my phone, eat snacks and cry.
I have been in this state for more than two months, but my relationship with him has not gone any further.
it's none of his business. I'm starting to doubt it.
I know very well that I am the kind of person who lives with my temper. I am very satisfied with my daily hustle and bustle, with low and high scores, and with my intermittent efforts, because this is not a backwater for me.
but he obviously prefers the life of a positive proportional function. I pretend to be what he likes. I can pretend for two months, but can I pretend for a year, two years or even the whole high school?
with this in mind, I gradually regained my true colors.
I will step on the bell to enter the classroom in the morning, will cheat on my cell phone, and will find an excuse to run away after playing evening self-study.
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he said nothing, but his disappointment accumulated.
finally, after I ran away with my bag for the Nth time after class, he asked me: is something wrong with being so abnormal recently?
I was guilty and said no. He asked me again and again. I broke the jar and said that I was not that kind of person in the first place. I used to do that because I liked him.
it wasn't until I finished the last episode of want to see you today that I finally figured out why something was wrong.
and the most fatal thing about this "difference" is that the more she pretends to like "Huang Yuxuan", the more it shows how much people around her dislike "Chen Yunru".
the more that boy likes the changed me, the more it proves how unworthy of the original me is.
in the past, I always received messages from readers about "retention" after they broke up:
but in fact, everyone knows very well that the love that has been regained as a result of "change" cannot be maintained, no matter how hard it is.
the original you.
I hope you meet someone who doesn't need you to change. Good night.
Song /Zhang Zhenyue-Secret
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