To like a person is actually to get drunk.

/March 2023

I found someone I like in the last month of 16 years. Ah Guo sighed when he knew about it, because in her eyes, I fell in love with an impossible person.

-"does she know you like her?" "Yes."

-"so she turned you down?" "Yes."

-"so don't you think you have a spare now?" "I think."

looking at the furious Ah Guo, I smiled stubbornly: "not everyone is lucky to be a spare tire." Haven't you met anyone you really like this year? It's great to find someone you like. "

A Guo frowned: "spare tire?" Won't you be very sad? "

I curled my lips: "sometimes, I am very happy and lucky, but I just regret that I am missing someone around me." Yes, it's really hard to be a spare tire, but I always feel much better than regret. "

-"do you think this is a good idea?"

-"how to like someone is my own decision, and this decision has nothing to do with others. Even if I know that this is useless, even if it will bring me a lot of pain, but when I think of her, I am still willing to stick to it. "

at that time, I knew very well that being desperate to like someone was like being drunk: it made people lose their sanity and self-control, leaving only a sense of tipsy.

in that month, I would drag the clothes of the person I like not to go upstairs to her at four o'clock in the morning and talk to her again; every day when I chat with her on Wechat, I would deliberately send tricks to flirt with her; and after walking with her, I especially like to ask her childishly: "I'm so funny and I like you so much, why don't you like me?"

in December, I seemed to be drunk, and the rational Wang Zepeng suddenly disappeared, leaving only a drunken soul.

now that I think about it, it's really funny. I never hide my love for her in front of her, and even always tell her, "actually, I am much luckier than you." I have someone I like now, but you don't. " Then there was a long string of self-deprecating laughter.

even though she never expressed that she wanted to be with me, I was always desperate to show my feelings. Because I think, if I hide this love for fear of pain, then why should I ask her to like me?

but because of something that happened to Argo, I had to calm down and re-examine the way I liked her.

A Guo refused a boy's confession in December, and after he agreed to be friends, the boy suddenly turned hot and cold to her. Sometimes when a group of people in the class go out to see a movie, the boy will chat with others, but deliberately snub Ah Guo. He agreed to be friends, but faced himself with this attitude. The more he thought about it, the angrier he became, and he snubbed him.

when Ah Guo loses his temper, the other party will privately run to ask A Guo if he is angry, and then apologize. Ah Guo is gentle in the world, and she forgives each other after apologizing.

I just didn't expect that the same situation happened again and again, and in the end, Ah Guo completely turned his face and ignored him. But when the final class was set, the two were arranged into a group by the teacher.

thinking that we are all adults, and now that we have business, we can always let go of our personal feelings first, right?

because the two stay in the lab every day and have dinner together, every time A Guo smiles and wants to give each other a good look, the other side is inexplicably aloof, and the problem is not dealt with properly, and the others have finished the lesson. Only their group is still in the preparatory stage.

A Guo was so angry that he was in a state of mania all day. When I was ready to laugh at her anger because of the love of others, A Guo suddenly said, "Love is not his own thing at all." Don't you think it's selfish of him to do so? "

I suddenly quieted down, leaving only this sentence in my mind: love is not his business at all.

that night, when Argo left, he said to me, "it's better for you, at least you know how to behave, and you won't make the people you like angry."

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I smiled bitterly and nodded, but there was an unspeakable entanglement in my heart.

We always like to say: I like you, it's none of your business. But is that really the case? Because of each other's love, Ah Guo is in anger every day. At this time, does a person's love really not affect each other?

and I finally understand why she likes to play and play with me, but she doesn't want to be with me. Because, I show too much love in front of her.

the more I tell her it doesn't matter, I just like you, the more guilty she feels, the more she feels sorry for this relationship-in the end, every word of love that I say becomes her burden and guilt.

anger and guilt are different forms of torture, but the degree of torture is the same. Unfortunately, although I always laugh at the immaturity of the person who confessed his love to Ah Guo, in essence, I am no different from him.

I used to drink beer, but I ended up drunk, but the bitterness and flatulence of beer made me feel very uncomfortable. Later, when Zhang Jingzhi opened a bottle of red wine at the party, the transition from delicate, sweet taste to slightly tipsy confusion made me suddenly realize one thing:

Love itself is not sober. What we are after is this drunkenness, it doesn't matter, that's good.

but he and I love him too fiercely and bluntly like bitter, inflated beer. And a really good relationship should be like tasting red wine, slowly tipsy or even drunk in a hierarchical and comfortable taste.

after we fail or break up, we often use "how much I love you" as an excuse to retain each other, but at this time, such words will only become a burden to each other, except to make each other feel guilty.It is of no use other than.

so if you ask me what to do in this situation, I will tell you, restraint. It is not difficult to love someone presumptuously, you just need to face the pain of failure without fear, just like the stupid me.

but does this work? You are drunk, but the other person has just begun to have a drink, and he has not been able to accompany you to drink madness.

unbridled love will only make the other person feel oppressed and make him out of breath.

learn to exercise restraint, keep a sense of taking care of each other's emotions, and don't expose all your emotions in one breath, which is too monotonous and surging.

try to cultivate yourself into a glass of red wine, just like the Cabernet Sauvignon dry red wine that was drunk at the party that day, with full taste and soft tannins.

Love is actually an illogical drinking madness. Whoever gets drunk first, who loses first, and who wakes up first, goes first.

We want someone to accompany us to get drunk, but this hope should not be a kind of self-moving intoxication, nor should it be a kind of persuasive compulsion.

it's just that I hope someone will accompany you crazy when you pass out on the side of the road.

in fact, I had a little loss at the party that day, coupled with the fact that I drank red wine for the first time, so I had a strange affection for this Cabernet Sauvignon dry red wine.

I guess there are a lot of people like me now, because someone is too drunk to help himself. Well, I'll treat you to my favorite wine tonight.