What kind of character is suitable for love?

/March 2023

yesterday Chen shamelessly sent me an interesting multiple-choice question. If there is a choice, I think which option is more suitable for two people to fall in love.

"An is complementary and B is similar."

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Chen is shameless to choose A because: "if I like egg yolks and you like egg whites, then we can eat one egg for two. Two people who complement each other can live together in more harmony. "

I shook my head and chose B: "the furthest distance in this world is that you are in front of me, but you can't understand the happiness that I like to eat egg yolk." It is possible for two similar people to live a better life. "

in the end, none of us could convince the other, so Chen shamelessly told me a story.

Lao Bai and Lao Hei met late when they met for the first time, and their feelings were burning like firewood, and they soon got together.

it's a pity that not long after the sweet little days, the biggest drawback of flash love is exposed: both sides don't know enough about each other's personalities.

Lao Bai ran to Chen shameless and cried, "you really can't find someone with a similar personality, like me and Lao Bai, are too stubborn."

when asked, it turned out that Lao Bai and Lao Hei had their own opinions on how to spend the holiday, and neither would give way to the other. in the end, they broke up in discord, and no one was willing to apologize in a humble voice after several days of the cold war.

the same stubbornness made their feelings hit rock bottom.

"if you and your partner are similar in character, when you face the same problem, you are likely to be defeated at the same time. If they are two people with complementary personalities, they can pick up the other side when he is knocked down. " Chen shamelessly patted me on the shoulder and gave me a meaningful look.

"people with complementary personalities can help each other better and go further."

looking at Chen's smug expression, I guess she doesn't know. In fact, Old Hei has complained to me about it.

I only remember that Old Hei shook his head helplessly: "the personalities of Lao Bai and I are really very different." I am more homesick, and I don't want to go very far during the holidays. she has more waves than me, and asks me whether it is better to go to Japan or Taiwan. "

"to tell you the truth, to fall in love, you have to find someone with a similar personality, otherwise you won't be able to live together at all. Every corner of life is full of contradictions, different personalities make us unable to integrate into each other, and finally end up tit-for-tat. " This is the last thing Blackie said to me.

when Chen shameless and I pieced the story together, we all fell silent and thought a lot.

We found that there is no such thing as "personality similarity" and "personality complementarity" at all. Because it is the same old white and old black, it is also the matter of "how to spend a good holiday". As long as there is some deviation from our point of view, the conclusions may be very different.

my parents often quarrel, and they are both very strong personality. once they quarrel, they will close the door and ignore me standing outside the door and listening to the things inside.

and when there is a quarrel, neither my mother nor my father is willing to turn down their faces and ask for peace. For example, my father usually doesn't come back until nine o'clock in the evening. On weekdays, my mother cooks an extra meal for him, but whenever there is a quarrel, my mother firmly refuses to cook for my father.

my father would not beg my mother to cook for him, so whenever I quarreled with my mother since childhood, he would let me cook. At that time, I was stupid. I was always afraid that they would be separated because they were too strong, so I always ran to be peacemakers on both sides, until I found a strange thing when I grew up.

usually the refrigerator in my house is almost empty. Every night when I am hungry, I can only knock an egg and eat white rice. But every time my parents quarrel and I have to cook for my father, I want shrimp, fish and fish in the fridge, just for one person.

one day my parents quarreled again. After my cooking, my father suddenly threw me a large sum of money, saying that my cooking was delicious, and the money gave me a reward.

I was confused and happy at that time. When I ran into the room happily, I was suddenly dragged by my mother. Without saying a word, she took out the reward my father gave me and glared at me: "Don't you dare take the living expenses of the family."

it turned out that my father knew that my mother had no living expenses, but they were quarrelling again. He thought that the person who paid the living expenses first bowed his head, but he was worried that my mother had no money to spend, and his own father, who knew that my mother would not ask for money when she quarreled, used me as a gun.

I really can't smile when I want to understand this. Whether my mother deliberately left food in the refrigerator or my father borrowed my hand to give my mother living expenses, their personalities and styles are very similar, but I am a little innocent in the middle.

but also because of these details, the older I get, the more I feel that no matter how noisy they are, they will not be separated.

I don't know whether Lao Hei and Lao Bai are complementary or similar. I just know that no matter which one they belong to, they are not happy.

some people say that people with similar personalities are suitable for falling in love, and people with complementary personalities are suitable for marriage. I don't think it's right.

there is no absolute personality similarity or complementarity in this world. Everyone's personality is complex and elusive, and can not be measured by these two criteria.

the key factor in judging whether a person is fit to be together is "whether you are willing to make some concessions for him, whether you are willing to suffer a little grievance for him".

it's like I like chicken wings, but if you want what I like, I'll pretend I don't like it. After all, I like you more than chicken wings.

it's true to be angry with you, and it's true to care about you.

maybe my parents doThey are all stubborn and unwilling to bow their heads first, but they are willing to make some "concessions" from some corners of life and tell each other with some small details. Although I am very angry, I am still willing to love you reluctantly.

in fact, when two people decide to be together, it does seem like a major event in life, but it is really a very small thing in our daily life. Because it will not bring great convenience to our life, nor will it let us live a smooth life from now on.

falling in love is just one more arm we can rely on when we are sad.

Life goes on, and I am willing to make some room for you to coax you when I am happy and reluctantly when I am unhappy.

although it is not vigorous and sweet, but this is fit, this is life.

I find that once we think love is too important, we pay too much attention to each other's character, because we always want the love we experience to be more perfect and more perfect.

I have known many couples who have gone very far, some of whom like to quarrel and some who have never quarreled, but what they all have in common is that they know how to make concessions and how to wronge themselves. Good night.